Intro to Relational Authority
October 31st, 2007 | by Naimp | Posted in Relationships |One of the most powerful things you can ever do to win friends and influence people is to take ‘relational authority’.
There are examples of this everywhere including about every time that a group of people gather together.
Someone is basically going to step up and ‘take charge’ of that social group or setting. Sometimes this is by default the person with the highest social status or position within the social culture or subculture.
Taking immediate or environmental control of a group so that they become the stimulus to your response is a powerful thing to do.
Women notice this quite easily and it’s giving them some character to start further extrapolating.
Usually it will be known subtly and not so subtly that one person is displaying power, influence and control over other people for a short time being.
Usually it’s the most outspoken, sanguine people that will take ‘relational authority’ in new environments, even starting conversations out of the blue for the sake of talking.
Often times there may be relational power struggles, etc. (Just watch ‘The Apprentice’ or ‘Survivor’).
The sign of a great leader is one that can empower the people to get things done without causing resentment but rather inspiration.
But what does relational authority have to do with being an alpha male, N.I.S. alpha male, dating and success with women?
A lot.
Women are looking for alpha ‘characteristics’ or ‘attributes’ in men. In a social environment they will consciously and unconsciously seek out the ‘alpha male’ of the group.
Now, here’s where things are kind of interesting and I’ll try to cover this all here..
Though there may be one outspoken loud dude who just kind of takes over immediately, it doesn’t meant that he has the true relational authority or is the one who should deserve to be the leader of a group of social people.
How do I know? I’ve been in situations where I was the one with the true relational authority yet outspoken people take what I call ‘immediate relational authority’.
I’ll give you some examples where you can see people taking relational authority; friendships, corporate environments, work groups, task forces, group projects, toast-masters, best man at the wedding, MC’s, hosts, comedians, calls to action (ie. the farm scene in ‘Last of the Mohicans’ where they’re recruiting Colonials to join the Army)…
If you want more power and social status, take relational authority more often. Telling a great story to a group of people is taking relational authority. More important than the story itself is how you tell it and how congruent you are.
The more of a stimulus and representation you have of presenting the story, the more of a great response can be had. We’ve all heard average stories from boisterous people but it was o.k.
You’ve probably got better stories than that. I’m saying to take the sweet time to tell the story the way it should be. Unfortunately the shyer people may not take much relational authority and thus are missing out on a lot of new opportunities to attract women.
So START!
Here’s the good news. When you take immediate relational authority, women notice. You’ve generically become the Social Alpha of the group. If you continue that authority they’ll be more interested.
Why? It’s engrained in a woman’s being to seek out and attach herself with alpha male status in relation to the group. This ‘favor’ will continue to ensure prosperity and safety of the couple.
Taking relational authority means that you are equal or greater to everyone in relational power, you have something valuable to say and you have absolutely no excuses for ‘taking the stage’ and sharing it.
In group settings you’ll notice that strong leaders don’t always talk the most but when they do talk, what they have to say is fully felt and they take full relational authority. This upgrades them in the eyes of the group if they just didn’t know yet.
Relational Authority.
It’s a sort of ‘validation’ of your independence in the group standing and you must do it if you want power AND social status or respect.
I’ll talk more about this in other articles as it’s a power subject so keep on learnin’.
Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.